PEBCAC

This isn’t social commentary, more of an English lesson.

The other evening while watching some Zombie Alien flick very loud, my girlfriend yelled at me,”Turn down that surround sound”. The thing is, we have a pretty small 2 speaker set from Logitech. I replied, rather indignantly at the time “We don’t have SurroundSound, we have poor people sound.” Listening to the absurdity of what I just said we both laughed ourselves to tears. We then immediately realized the phrase has purposes as adjective, adverb and more. Some examples so far:

More To Come…

Write what you see. Right what you know.

Some products are just designed well. So , damn near perfect they rarely need improving. The MagLite is one of those products. I have them in everysize and give them as gifts. I’ve always wondered about LED technology and why it’s not used, turns out there is a new LED MagLite.WooHoo. I only hope they don’t lose the heft that makes my fiancee carry one in the car for protection as well. LED’s are super effecient and don’t need the D Cell batteries. Somehow, I don’t think camera batteries are going to crush the back of someones legs the same.

Chapter Summary

My first impressions of Riot were those that he left in my hand. We just got into the house with the new puppy, a few days after Christmas, and I noticed my hand was covered in small bloody wounds. Apparently the puppy bites the WHOLE way home were a bit more sharp than I realized. I figured it was his first night, and things would be better tomorrow.

The next day was a wonderful introduction to the breed of dog I had chosen, the Rottweiler, and made me sure that it would not, under any circumstances, be a ‘better’ day. Something about the clinking of Eagle brand kibble in his bowl made the reptile brain in his 7 week old puppy skull fire like a pack of illegal m80’s. He ran across the floor, and before my hand could pour out the kibble and present the bowl, he laid a full mouth bite across my arm and opened it up pretty good. This, this was a rottweiler. He was sure this was his food, his house, his hand…and I WAS TAKING TOO LONG!

When hiring or managing people, you need to know what you’re getting into. As you’ll read, Riot, even though he is a Rottweiler, is still a wonderful dog. People with the same characteristics can make great employees. The Rottie, while sometimes aggressive and dominant is also a tireless worker and loyal to the death. The same can be said of people that behave like Rotties, but you don’t want an office full of dominant aggressive people, just like you don’t want a kennel full of Rotts. Balance is the key. Remember every dog is different, even the Rott’s. Some fall to pieces when you raise your voice, despite their imposing size. Others, like Riot, need to be sharply and quickly corrected or he will pee on your leg….and he’s undersized for the breed.

Know what you’re dealing with.

So what kind of breeds are you working with?

One last time, to the designers of the world, a computer is a TOOL! I do not need to consult my instruction manual to use the hammer or the fridge. Holy Jeebus, even the car, the same car I can’t change the oil on, doesn’t require the upkeep of a simple computer.

I spent my day off yesterday (in between sorting the holiday crud, cleaning and answering e-mail) installing a simple external backup drive. The drive is beautiful and compliments the Western Digital external array I have.

With over 250 movies, months of music and thousands of pictures, I need rock solid backup and storage. My main server looks something like this:

I’m not listing this to show off what I’m running. I’m trying to make a point: This is not a small PC, this is not a toy…this is a reasonably high-end TOOL. Nonetheless, getting the new drive mounted as a network share was damn near impossible and took several hours.

Finally, after much searching I found the fix. The absurd thing is, the ‘fix’ works…although I don’t have the conditions that officially cause the problem.

If my car randomly shutdown, wouldn’t take fuel filters, and decided to turn left at whim…well I’d return it and call the sucker a lemon.

Why are we still tolerating it? How is technology going to revolutionize the world if we can’t do the basics like sticking a nail in a board?

For those of you with large dogs, or lucky enough to own a large cat, I highly recommend these wonderful hollow toys for your beastie. Riots has a bunch of these ranging from 6″ to 24″. They can be filled with water to affect the balance, or coins to entice with sound. While I love Kong products, they only last through an hour or two of chewing…or one solid bite. So do your pup a favor and buy him something long lasting, durable, SAFE and fun.

Before I depart, if you really want to get your dog balls he will enjoy for Christmas, there’s only one: Neuticles. And don’t skimp, size matters.

New pictures are going up under the gallery, some new bio data and excerpts from a book that I’ve been working on.

I’ll be posting proposed chapter headers, excerpts etc… the title is tenatively: Everything I needed to know about Management I learned from my Rottweiler.

Yeah, sounds a little cliched, but the American public is mostly composed of dino-brained idiots. Using this theory, the title will fit well on mugs, calendars and posters. It’s not like anyone actually read the damn ‘Everything I needed to know I learned in Kindergarten” book anyway…

Our question this week comes from Col. Klaw (US Army, ret.)

Dear Bobx86,

First Col. Klaw, allow me to thank you for your many years of service in your battles against Cobra and Cobra Commander…truly valiant. Congratulations on your hot tamale of a woman.

This question is difficult. Indeeed, nothing says I love you like all you can eat Salad/breadsticks and the unbeatable class that only the Olive Garden can offer. Besides, I think the staff might actually sing the proposal for you, much like at your birthday.

However, nothing says responsbility to her parents like taking over the payments for your princesses chariot. I don’t know Mexican custom, but for my people, the groom’s family is obligated to provide the dowry. My family paid off my soon to be betrothed with a large car payment and several small fowl. The ability to pay the car is the same as being a good hunter in primitive times, this shows your alpha male status and ability to supply, that or pee on her father.

Nonetheless, I recommend getting a reasonably priced ring, save your money on the expense of the Olive Garden, pay for the Jimmy…which will make it easier to get a new car for yourself later. I recommend the Honda Element, a fine car for family and friends…and is comes in a pimp kiwi green. It also says much for your committment to this Mexican beauty as no women will ever pursue you after buying this car. It seems to repel them en masse.

In summary. No food, nice ring, pay for car and impress parents, buy minivan in disguise, be happy.

This post is nothing more than a selfish reflection, but that seems appropriate right now.

I’m sitting back on the bed, dishes just started, Santa suit in the wash, lunch in the oven, and dogs eating their second meal. Never really realized how busy my intersection is during the day, the gas station is ringing like the Salvation Army bucket brigade…Ring…ding…ring.

It’s been forever since I’ve had a half-day off where I wasn’t sick, getting some medical treatment or involved in psuedo business. It’s weird, decidedly unusual and not unpleasant. Getting, what’s going on thirty minutes, to play on my blog and ‘geek out’ is increasingly rare. My office is wonderful about offtime and encourages it more than I’m willing to take it, but as mentioned, usually when I’m off, it’s not off.

I think many modern men and women could write treatises on the theme of Virginia Woolf’s A Room Of One’s Own. The titles would be numerous: A Day of One’s Own, A Long Work Weekend Of One’s Own, Thirty Minutes between feeding the kids and filing the TPS Report, of One’s Own. Society, and this is no new observation, gives less and less time to caring for one’s family, emotional/psychiatic well being and time to do Nothing. We’re all paying for it. Paying with new Jaguars and ulcers. Young hot and strung out mistresses; a broken family and divorce.

I’m not quite sure what this means, or if there’s a solution. Even as I’m here off, there’s still a window open monitoring e-mail and I’m still answering it. But, I do know that myself and others I know are treading a terrible path. A path where we think Our Mission, Our Goal is more important than the rest of our friends, our family, the world. I and most of you, are too damn absorbed in making our greater good the only good. It implies too much selfish desire.

Not much else to say. Gonna enjoy playing on the tablet pc a few more minutes and eat. Then the break is over, gotta get my Santa suit ready for the kids tomorrow coming to work. Gotta visit the poor guy next door at the aforementioned gas station. His seven year old PC is actually starting to break…and those dogs that are eating are gonna need walked. But that, most assuredly, is not work.

I like commas.

I Love parenthetical expressions.

I pretty fond of sitting on my bum and writing too.

To counter the somewhat serious nature with which the $100 Laptop is being presented from the MIT media lab…I found this on their site for consumer product research:

Cellular Squirrel

Can this be real? Only in academia is this possible, god bless them, what a wonderful waste of time. Yes, the underlying research has validity and the theory behind the little digital rodent is sound…but a SQUIRREL? It’s like that damn racist Disney flick, Song of the South (nonetheless, an animation classic). I don’t actually want a “Bluebird on my Shoulder”. That’s Actual. It’s Satisfactual?

But is this real, I ask again?

At least let me talk to some asexual, amorphous, new,anime inspired creation, not a tree dwelling rat.

There’s not much more to write about Nicholas Negroponte and the $100 laptop other than , if they pull it off, it will be revolutionary.

The potential is amazing, and using children to hype the project is genius. Although I’m not sure this isn’t equally about empowering children as it is making little content providers, either way I suppose it’s okay and productive.

Products like this will show the Internet ‘bubble’ was nothing of the sort. The last spurt of Internet growth that economist call the bubble was nothing. Nothing in terms of creativity, nothing in terms of entertainment, nothing in terms of changing day-to-day life, and nothing in terms of the money that will be created! The Net is infantile. When you consider world wide internet pentetration is only 15.2%!

Putting laptops like these in the hands of children, teenagers, adults…well everyone will change the world more than we have been altered by the Net as we know it. We’re barely online as a species.

Yes, people will be literally set free through local media and revolutions created on these laptops. Yes, children will learn to read. But people will also learn to exploit local auction services. They’ll be able to monitor water in super effecient drip irrigation systems. People will truly be part of a global community, a global internet…and really, in a bigger sense…that means more kinds of porn for all of us.

In all seriousness, some of the most amazing things on the planet are born in the MIT media lab

And I want one

Two front teeth would be nice, but if these can’t be found…any of the following would do. Thanks Santa.

-Thanx

There are new pics under the Gallery and new media links under the bio data and Some Dog Stuff.

To paraphrase a couple of mentors, “There is no disability community”…and here’s further evidence. However, the media is just as guilty here of making rifts as we are capable of doing on our own.

Disability is a word and concept in flux, both legally and philosophically. Someone with a severely weakened heart or malfunctioning immune system may be severely disabled, but not visably. Likewise, I know plenty of chair users who are so in their closet about being a person with a disability (PWD) they can’t find their own shoes.

An associate at the Nth Degree has a great little piece that serves as an anectode to get people thinking about the subject. Even the International Access Symbol for disability is ‘mobility-centric’. I encourage people to send in their alternate ideas. These could be really funny and offenisve. Two of my favorite things.

Nonetheless, back to the issue of Ms. Wheelchair Wisconsin. By nature, the ‘title’ should be awarded to someone with a disability…and apparently from the slightly awkward pagent title; that person should use a wheelchair. But, if you can walk a short distance periodically, are you no longer disabled? No longer Superman? Machine? Man/Woman? No longer “Miss Wheelchair”? Here’s some others thoughts.

I guess what I’m saying is, there is no coherent disability community, it’s really fractured by its medical nature , the damn egos, the money and freaking heirarchy. “Poor PWD’s” my ass, every brother and sister is looking out for A#1 like anyone else. We can stand proudly with other Human Rights movements and join the bitchy, the ineffectual, jealous and the politically needy. And we can get no where by doing it too.

I’ve always thought my rottweiler needed a cell phone. When he bites some jerk he can call his lawyer himself now.

This is actually a great idea and one of those things I’ve been piddling with around the house and in sketches for my own purposes. This company, along with a few others, are debuting cell phone/GPS/Communication devices with dogs in mind. Options include GPS monitoring, camera’s with wi-fi capabilities and TTD (talk to dog) functions.

I’ve used human form factor radios around my pups collar to command him at long distances and to save my voice…and always thought about the other capabilities. This is especially nice considering the relative uselessness of tattoos and microchips for dogs. With GPS, the animal is trackable, and for a working dog…well imagine setting up perimeters over large property areas. MMMmmmm….. geek dog. Better than some damn Aibo

This kick ass pill despenser is a long time coming. Yeah, I know, why get geeked out over a pill dispenser?

Well, until you’ve tried to get through a staff meeting with one too many allergy pills in you, you’ll never understand. In an effort to assist the elderly, stoned and generally forgetful, this product aims to remind you when to take your pills, and the proper dosage. Having friends and family that take 10+ prescriptions a day…this qualifies as a kewl use of high tech and a nice piece of ‘classic AT’.

Didn’t get to go the the WCD. Got sick. Came home. Still in bed. Will post soon.